Exploring the Loss of Structure, Increased Sibling Conflict, and Parental Burnout
By Dr. Sharon Arbel, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
As a clinical psychologist who works closely with families, I often see a surprising seasonal shift in parental stress beginning in late June. While children welcome the break from academics, summer can present unexpected emotional and logistical challenges for caregivers.
The lack of daily routines, the increase in sibling conflict, and the mounting demands on parents (particularly those balancing work and childcare) can quickly lead to fatigue and burnout. These issues are rarely addressed in the mainstream conversation around summer break, which tends to highlight opportunity and leisure, but often overlooks the complexity behind the scenes.
As both a practicing licensed clinical psychologist and a mom of three boys, I understand these challenges both professionally and personally.
1. Loss of Structure: Why It Impacts Children—and Parents
Daily structure plays a significant role in helping children feel secure, regulated, and focused. During the academic year, children benefit from the predictability of school schedules, extracurriculars, and bedtime routines. These daily anchors not only help children function, but also give parents a framework for planning their day.
Once summer arrives, that framework disappears. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, routines contribute to a child’s ability to regulate emotions, manage expectations, and maintain healthy sleep patterns (AAP, 2020). Without these supports, children often show increased signs of emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, or oppositional behavior—leading to increased conflict and more intensive parental involvement.
2. Sibling Conflict: Why It Tends to Escalate in Summer Months
Siblings typically spend more time together during summer, often without the boundaries and separation school provides. This increased proximity, paired with boredom or overstimulation, can lead to higher rates of conflict. A study published in Child Development Perspectives found that unstructured sibling time, especially without adult supervision or mediation, is linked to more frequent negative interactions and power struggles (McHale et al., 2012).
This dynamic can leave parents feeling like full-time referees, navigating recurring arguments and emotional flare-ups without a break.
3. Parental Burnout: The Emotional Toll of “Doing It All”
In clinical settings, we increasingly hear from parents who describe feeling depleted, frustrated, or guilty during summer months. While these feelings are valid, they are also often minimized by cultural narratives that suggest summer should be “magical” or carefree.
In reality, summer often requires more emotional labor, planning, and caregiving—especially for parents managing work responsibilities alongside full-time child supervision. Research published in Frontiers in Psychology defines parental burnout as “a chronic condition resulting from prolonged exposure to parenting-related stress,” marked by exhaustion, emotional distancing, and decreased parenting efficacy (Mikolajczak et al., 2019).
4. How to Navigate the Summer Months With Less Stress
While summer break may never be effortless, it can become more manageable with the right strategies and supports in place. Here are a few recommendations I offer to families in my clinical practice:
- Create a soft structure. Introduce a flexible daily rhythm—such as consistent wake-up times, meal windows, and afternoon quiet periods—to reestablish predictability without rigidity.
- Balance togetherness with separation. Encourage solo play, individual outings, or peer-based programs to reduce sibling tension and restore independence.
- Set realistic expectations. Let go of pressure to create “perfect” summer moments. Emotional presence is far more valuable than packed itineraries.
- Acknowledge your limits. Naming your own exhaustion is not a sign of weakness—it’s a first step toward recalibration and self-compassion.
Summer break is often portrayed as a season of rest and connection, but for many parents, it comes with heightened stress, logistical strain, and emotional fatigue. Understanding the psychological underpinnings of these challenges can help normalize the experience and point the way toward healthier coping strategies.
You’re not alone—and you don’t have to do it all by yourself.
References
Mikolajczak, M., Gross, J. J., & Roskam, I. (2019). Parental Burnout: What Is It, and Why Does It Matter? Frontiers in Psychology.
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00146/full
American Academy of Pediatrics (2020). Helping Children Cope With Changes Resulting From COVID-19.
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/146/3/e2020020325/37931
McHale, S. M., Updegraff, K. A., & Whiteman, S. D. (2012). Sibling Relationships and Influences in Childhood and Adolescence. Child Development Perspectives, 6(1), 17–23.
Recent Comments